Ridiculous Arguments I Have Had And Won

Here are some ridiculous arguments and debates I have actually had. I really like to push buttons some days and fully realize that I am an asshole. No need to point it out. But you can feel free to remind my parents that they should have hugged me more and been there for me morally all you like.

Fisting is way more intimate that any other form of sex: Nothing says deep intimacy like having your partner’s hand deep inside of you. It takes a lot of trust on the part of both parties and it takes bonding to a whole new level. Try topping that. If you tell me it’s gross or whatever I’ll just retort that you are a pussy or a selfish bitch that is too frigid to open up and blossom for your lover. Enjoy your lonely life. My only other move after that is to duck.

Shemale on female porn is not gay: Technically it’s straight porn. You have a guy and a girl fucking in front of you. Granted it’s a guy that looks like a chick, but it is a guy. I try to think of it as lesbian porn with a penis. Now the great part of this is that if you bring this up at a party when everyone is drunk, it’ll be the topic of conversation for way longer than it really should. Eventually someone will open up and say they are either interested or that they like it. This is when you turn the tables and call them a Nancy. You’ll not only be the life of the party but you’ll have also further propelled someones sexual dysfunction.

Animal porn is not oppressive to animals: I once was throwing a bachelor party for a good friend and joked to his wife that I would get a donkey show for him. One of her friends chirped up and mentioned that animal porn is oppressive to the animal. This was infuriating on all sorts of levels and I was determined to shut her friend up. I asked her what was worse for the donkey, pulling a plow in the hot sun all day or getting a piece? What would you prefer? Is it really that bad that a Chok The Russian Mastiff gets some instead of chasing the ball? I would say those animal’s are living the high life. Now the real question is what or who do those women owe to have to do that? If she had said that it was oppressive and degrading to women I would have agreed. But I would still insist that it’s funny.

Sometimes you’ve just got to train them early