Archive for December, 2009

Gimmie, Gimme, Gimme – The Holiday Post

Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2009 by dissectingthefetalpig

Christmas is one of those holidays that can really make or break a number of things.  Your spirit, relationships and your wallet  are what usually come to mind.  It can also show what an oblivious asshole you are to the people you claim to love and appreciate.

My Aunt for example:  She’s been more like a sister and at certain points in life a mom to me.  Every year I get her booze or something equally silly.  I have no idea what to get her in all honesty.  At this point in my life I am not sure what she is even into.  How sad am I?

That said, I have been given some really odd gifts that I had to scratch my head and wonder if the giver had someone else in mind when said gift was purchased.  Certain things will always be universal however.  Like blowjobs, money, blank cd’s and gift certificates to record stores.  But this isn’t about what I want or would like for Christmas.

Other times people expect certain things for the holidays and that, to me, is a real bum out.  Whenever I hear something like “My husband better get me that necklace for Christmas or he’s in big trouble”.  What kind of shit is that.  Agreed that this is all in context.  But what the fuck?  What if that object of desire is out of his or her means?  Why will nothing else do?  The object of a gift is to say “Hey, I thought about you and I think you would really like this”.  Now even if the receiver doesn’t like the gift, they should at least be flattered that someone took the time to care.  It’s not about getting what you want, it’s about being recognized.  Christmas is a big hand job to each other’s ego when you boil it down.  Some have a technique and others aren’t so good, but it’s the thought that counts.

I currently work in a field where you get tips for the holidays.  Not a bonus, but tips.  So while your performance will factor into all things considered, it doesn’t necessarily state that you will receive a tip.  You get paid, hourly, and you still have to do your job as expected.  The tip is a way of saying thank you.  And that tip is not mandatory.

One of my co-workers is hell-bent on not helping anyone that does not tip.  I not only find this atrocious as a personality trait, but I find it to be a shitty work ethic.  It’s a real gimme gimme attitude that I cannot stand.  It also makes no sense.  Attitudes like that are why you won’t get tips anyways.  Foresight; it’s not always that hard.  It’s not like what I do is anything like being a waiter, where tips are a main factor in pay.  We get our checks and our rates are based on hourly work.

I also hate when you go someplace and it’s almost as if I have to tip or I will be left looking like a total asshole if I do not.  I tend to avoid places that practice this.  Like Starbucks; for example.  Starbucks employees get paid hourly, with health benefits and they get stock options.  That’s better than a lot of jobs.  Why the hell would I give them more money?  Especially after being raped for shitty coffee.  Again, context is everything.  I used to tip the guys at the Duncan Donuts that I would hit before work for the simple fact that I could walk in and out without standing in line.  I was that regular a customer.  But that mighty tip cup is everywhere now.  Hot dog stands, fast food restaurants and chinese take out spots all have this fucking tip cup out.  If I am picking up, rather than delivering; I am not tipping.  I did you a favor by not stretching your workforce thinner with another delivery.  Why not tip me?

Come holiday season you cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a tip cup.  Even certain grocery stores are doing it.  I have even gone to concerts and noticed tip cups by the merchandise!  I think from now till Christmas I am going to wear a tip cup around my neck all day and see what I can get.  In my eyes the tip cup is two steps up from panhandling and a step down from extortion.

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